general update

Well its been almost a month since I've done anything for this. not that anyone reads it anyways. So i have been email is this girl how I'd meet online. At first it seemed to good to be true. We had lots in common, everything from out general interests to hobbies even out personalty's seem to match quite well.

On saterday we decided to meet. like most of my first dates we meet at a coffee shop, only this time it was in Minneapolis and I've never driven down there before. After the coffee we walked around the park, talking and poking each other with sticks and pine cones. At that point i think thats where most of my dates would have ended. But we decided to head up to the walker sculpture garden. It was almost magical. after a while we found a place in the shade to sit and rest. We must have talked for some time before moving on. At that point both of us were in dire need of food. So we went to her place, it was a vary small studio apartment but it wasn't bad... I've seen a lot worse. It must have been about the size on my bedroom, a little bit bigger if you count the bathroom and kitchen. We ordered pizza and watched some TV. After a sometime of doing nothing we decided that we should head up to my place, about 40 minutes north. We sat down and watched a movie and then called it a night. For some reason we shared me bed. After lots of flirting and cuddling we both started to fall asleep. Well she did anyways i seem to have a problem with sleeping with other people next to me. But in the morning i made eggs and toast. We watched "top gear" which was totally rad because its my favorite show and she likes it as well. And then i took her home around 2ish. But anyways to sum it all up. Both of us had a wonderful time and she is worth the drive down there.

We have so much in common. She seems to be open minded and accepting of other people. Many shared hobbies and interests. She teaches yoga and belly dancing (i would like to see that one someday). Shes also going to school for a psych major. Shes taller then i am, long red hair, amazing legs, and the cutest nose i've even seen. I really hope were able to go out again.

I've been thinking about this transgender thing I've been talking about for the past 2 months. I now know that i don't fall under that role. I've decided that i am how i am and placing a false labe on myself in the hopes of it making my fell better isn't going to help me at all. I know i still have some things i need to work out with myself but i now know for certain that even thou i have a "female" side to my personalty that being female wont make is happier because i also have that "male" side as well. Perhaps its not about being male for female. I just need to find some kind of balance to it all, and at that point it wont be about being male or female. It will be about being myself.

I know know that i shouldn't be putting this in here and that i should take out everything about this topic from this blog. The reason i say this is because i'm worried what Christy would think about it. Would she be scared off by it? Would she think that i'm some sort of freak? Or would she be accepting of it and try to understand it and myself better? I don't know her extermaly well yet so i can't really say for sure. But if your reading this Christy, I would like to know what you think and how you feel about it.